Growing up

Growing up
Growing up as a little boy,
I had always been against my father’s actions,
vowing to myself every day
that I would never become like him.

I promised
I would never be nonchalant
to the things he ignored.

I swore
I would never let my family
decide my path.

I wanted to be better.

For I had always hated his guts,
I had always detested his ways—
feeling like he could have handled
responsibilities differently.

I refused to be a copy,
a reflection of his choices.

And now, the promise I made to myself—
to be different,
to be better—

feels harder than I imagined.

Because life happened.

Responsibilities came,
realities hit,
and everything I once judged
started making sense.

And I have come to realize,
and finally accept the truth—

that daddy was a man.