Sometimes I think about what it would be like if you were still here
And that makes me uneasy
Because if I look back I see the world looking so differently
I see this world where I might never know the truth
I see this world where I dont have a place in the relationships I have now
Because you consumed so much of them
And I know that you needed them
You needed them more than I ever would
And every time I think about what life would be if you were here
My stomach clenches, my throat goes dry and my eyes welt with tears
Because how can I be grateful for this pain
For the nightmares filled with your moms screams
For the pain your brother feels
And yet sometimes I think about life if you were here
I do miss you
I do wish you were still here
I wish life could have been different for you
That you got the life you deserved
And yet sometimes I cant help but wonder if my life would be different
©keke01
K