Sometimes I remember how your hands fit perfectly in mine. How you made me smile and laugh like I'd never laughed before. I remember times when I'd feel lowest you were there to lift me up. I remember your smile that crept across your face every time I complemented you. I remember the times when things weren't so great. You said I was pushy and all that I wanted was your undivided attention. a simple text or a hello. something that still made you mine. the kisses mine. to be the reason you wanted to wake up in the morning. to find random notes made out to me laying around the apartment. or perhaps a simple kiss on the cheek.
Oh these were my fantasies that I can write on paper. you WERE the one & only person that I've wanted to share my life with. at the time.
You even were helping me feel more comfortable being a lesbian. you showed me dyke clothes and that things in the bedroom, behind closed doors were acceptable...you taught me to embrace that part of me. being gay was okay with you.
we broke up because you said you didn't love me anymore all because I was wanting to be a man, not a woman and you wanted to be with a girl. it's not like I'd ever had the means or desire to trade in my parts and get different ones. it's not like I was going to ever be able to afford T. BUT you said you didn't love me.
years past....
we ended up reconnecting...we were FWB. it was great. the sex, the experimentation, it was great. we even lived in the same town. we got together more as FWB than we did as girlfriends. I made a bold choice to relocate and pursue my education. I moved with the intent to get pregnant and have a baby. Days turned into weeks and I receive a blessing from a dear friend and it tells me I need to return to church. days go by. I get a text from you saying you have feelings for me and that you 'honestly never stopped loving you'. I tell you that ship has sailed. Oh please don't forget you wanted your money back cuz it cost a lot of money to buy plane tickets.
Now you live in Texas and I in Utah. I'm trying to play straight enough to win a game of the bachelorette and settle down and have babies. I want a family. something I'm good at is taking care of babies and having fun with MY children.
you. you are living in Texas with you're girlfriend. probably getting ready to get married. Happy. At least I hope your happy.
©ahorton6
©ahorton6
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