Her name is anxiety. A sworn enemy of mine since I was a child. No one can see her. She's evil and wears a invisible cloak... Behind that cloak is a ball of shame, worry, sorries, and self doubt. Anxiety has always been there like she don't leave me alone.. Clawing and antagoning my soul!! Childhood ball games, dances and socializing.... She made sure she got me by the throat.. She makes sure I cant breathe. Screaming for air no one heard a a damn sound. --- internally I'm telling myself. No one fucking cares! Smile, they won't dare realize you are drowning in the million thoughts and senerios possible in your head.. All they could see us this person who from the outside looking in is fucking crazy. Crazy lady that can't look you in the eyes. Who fidgets.. Who will always find an escape route.. Omg too many people in the room! Thinking they are laughing at you. Will I ever be good enough.. Anxiety, why does this have to be me. I am her. that's all I've ever known. Trapped in my own self doubt.
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