If I wasnt here tomorrow,
Would you miss me?
Would you care?
Or would you blame me..
Would it matter, or would it be a waste of your time and energy..
If you wonder why I would go this far,
Well.. there are so many answers..
But what I want to know..
Is why wasnt I enough?
Why did I matter, why were my feelings a burden?
Why was I a burden.
I've always felt alone and unhappy..
But smiling and masking how I really felt was easy.
I told you my feelings, and yet..
I was to blame.. it was my fault.
I've been told I'm I'm attention seeking,
That you wish I was dead,
That I'm not family or anything to you.
The thing is.. is that no one sees the damage, the broken inside..
No one knows how hard it is to keep breathing, because I simply just dont want to anymore..
The want for self harm is everyday.
Tho I dont make the Mark's and scars
Because my children shouldn't have to see what broken really means.
I'm standing here screaming for help
And yet no one hears me
No one here's my cries
I dont understand why they choose to ignore it
Some may see me or this as black and white or even maybe deep.
But one thing no one will ever consider is if this is really me
Depression is real and it's an illness that some just dont understand,
But I write for myself and for those
Who know what it's like to walk in the dark,
In the shadow's of sorrow
So in the end dont ask why and dont wonder what could've been,
Because you already know and knew the answer to that
Problem is.. You didnt want to take the time for that.
So as the problem, burden, and last choice..
I chose be an inconvenience
Not to be a problem in your way
Not to be the reason for every issue
Or anything else that comes in your way.
So now I'm not here nor there or anything
I'm just simply... Not. Here.
©cherrish
C