Flooding with thoughts, just floats, feet above water.
Walking in circles, cant stop the waves from coming closer.
My wonders become a nightmare.
My eyes stay opened inside, afraid to see what's out there, a voice tells me to stay here.
Stay stuck in my rut for many days, weeks, through months.
Everything starts to sink in.
Feeling paralyzed, numb from the knees and up to my ears.
Its fucked up when I can see everything, even when it's not interesting.
My sense of hearing, sounds become distorted.
What I see, I intend to tell, a tale of things.
A voice I hear, tell me bad things, but the brain tells the ear to hear nothing.
So once again, these thoughts are racing through my mind.
How long will I wonder, what it's like to be normal, have a bucket list to do.
Enjoy my life, love what I want, not forced to do things that are not..
A daughter, I wasnt to my mother.
No matter what I did, it was never enough for her to love me as her daughter.
My life you gave up, shortly after you left my father.
Life for me hasnt been easy, back then, til now I'm struggling.
Never really tried to change my life, to be better than being, the best I could be. Instead I seen myself worthless, anytime I'd start comparing.
Everything I did, I'd eventually fall off, or failing.
In the end I regret the things I could've done, but never did.
Learn from this journey I'm on.
Pay attention this time, do better, think twice before I die.
Know what I'm capable of doing.
Face my fears, take my gift and go beyond my widest dream.
Do all the things I know I'm good in doing.
Knowing now what life is like, learn from your mistakes and do what you feel is right
This is my story I share with you,
my journey through life,
Hope you enjoy reading all that I write..
©mamacita
M