Hope?

There is a huge lump in my throat,
My emotions are drowning and the aftermath set afloat,
I am trying to keep it all together,
I realize with how the streets are today I won't be here forever,
I have doubts in my fellow peers,
So deep it angers me to have to wipe away one of my lonesome tears,
God is the only one,
Who understands and knows who I become,
So many regrets,
Inbedded so deeply they are hard to forget,
Memories of my early childhood are painful,
Its difficult to praise God for my life enough to be grateful,
I wander the mean streets lost,
What lengths will I go to and at what cost,
Will I be willing to pay,
To carry on for instance for just for today,
What pieces of me do I need,
To gather enough of to succeed,
God I know you hear me,
I know its you that is blessing me to write these words clearly,
Raw emotions seem to stand all on their own,
Making it practically impossible to do this on my own,
I need to show God,
That I am no fraud,
And I will begin,
To allow true love of all forms in ❣
©amandak