I silently sit

I silently sit

I silently sit on the toilet seat

far away from the noise, the chaos.

All I hear is the pulse of my heart.

At least, I thought.

They argue inside me,

their voices loud,

deafening.

One complains.

The other tries to be rational.

The bulb shines bright,

yet the curtains hang dark,

shadows against light.

One relives the past.

The other clings to the present.

One is angry.

The other,a child that hurts.

One drowns.

The other resurfaces.

One pushes so hard.

The other remains still,

so still.

One longs to cry,

to break,

to shatter

but the other

cannot form tears.

Both are tired.

Then

silence.

My fingers trace the tiles,

so white, so bright,

reflecting a light within.

The rug beneath my feet

warms me, grounds me.

Slowly,

I rise

from the toilet seat,

and walk away.