Every day I sit and think about what makes me so special that attracted you to me... I've always wondered what your "REAL" thoughts of me are..not because I want to know but because I feel like you are hiding your true emotions from me.
when I look at you I see a man that has captured my heart.. a man who has suffered heartache after heartache as I did and mask it with silence.. I can look into your eyes and see the pain is still there from your past
I try to comfort you but you seek comfort elsewhere not even giving me that chance or moment to hold you like you need to be held so the love you receive melts away
I see a man that tries his best to satisfy not one....but two women one of them overbearing and controlling nitpicking about everything you do control and watching your every move demanding more of you while the other is silently watching crying inside hoping you would notice her while she is being used as a common modern-day maid.
I try to give you my love, the love you once had when things were peaceful, quiet, and simple.. seeing you smile day after day made me happy it made me realize that I have found someone who loves me for me...or so I thought...
I try to please everyone but myself and still end up on the other end of the broomstick waiting patiently to at least feel your gentle touch or a soft caress against my cheek as you wipe away my internal tears that hide deep within
I see a man who struggles to keep from going insane just to please the Queen of once was our peaceful castle... but the table has turned and I no longer feel like a queen but a common house maid that is commanded to do as told over and over again with no rest.
I try to be affectionate but I'm pushed away and glared at as if I'm not worthy enough to even be in your presence let alone be in your arms again.
I see an emotionally confused man who doesn't know wither to open his mouth and take control or sit in silence and take the demands of others.
I try to rescue you from your anger and frustrations but it doesn't matter how hard I try you still seek comfort from the other.
I sit back silently in the shadows and watch waiting to pursue you and wrap my arms around you and kiss you with passion as you once did
I try and that's all I can do for now from the shadows of loneliness.
©celest
C