pin hole eyes
can not be disguised
they call it addiction
I called it my secret affliction
the only force that brought me down
turned me into a sunken face clown
numb
emotionless
lonely
no eat
no sleep
no love
when the high would arrive
nothing but warmth
and sleep did I meet
my secret romance
my dirty little secret
my kryptonite
the struggle to change
was unimaginable
the routine had become my life
I can't even say it was my life
it was the life of heroin
seductive
inviting
simple
finally the time had come
to break off the romance
so my soul
could have another chance
agonizing
yearning in my bones
the taste on my tongue
dreams of mending the relationship
danced through my brain
pulling all my strength inwards
knowing the worst would soon be over
picking up the pieces
after the fall
I conquered
the most fierce demon in my soul
one that until the age of 26
had laid dormant
once it was awakened
I couldn't contain
or refrain
I had to feed it
what I didn't realize
is this demon
was feeding on my own
flesh and soul
as the sickness passed
my strength grew
inner and outer
I was healing
I was recreating a person I had lost
struggling to finally see
the best version of me I could be
I will battle the rest of my days
to keep this demon in it's cage
I will not grow weak
I'm back on my feet
with armor and strength
all should fear
it all became clear
once the fog dissipated from my sight
and I breathed in the fresh light
I'm a warrior
who saved myself
from terrible fate.
©envy2014
M