When someone has hurt you, you can wish all the bad you want and maybe in the moment you feel that way.
But each time someone has harmed me in unthinkable ways I think I will never forgive them.
But there will always come a moment where you are tested on that belief.
I’m not saying there’s a right or wrong answer because there isn’t.
But each time I’ve been I’ve been faced with a “it’s karma, they deserve it” moment I realize I can’t hide my true colors.
I’ve taken care of a man who had sexually assaulted me multiple times in my life, when he was at the end of his life with stage 4 cancer, dealing with all his personal care, medication, everything and holding his hand until the last moment
I have consoled and given advice to my ex who did the EXACT same thing to me.
I’ve been there for an ex, sitting at his side in ICU, while doctors said he wouldn’t survive as there are only a few cases in Canada that made it even though he told me I wasn’t good enough for someone like him.
I had his girlfriend, the one he left me for, hugging me and crying, asking me to stay with them.
Amazingly enough, he ended up surviving.
I talked a girl off a ledge, literally. Even though she spent years physically assaulting/ bullying me growing up.
I was there for my father who was depressed and having relationship issues, even though he forgot he had a child when he met this woman.
I didn’t do it because I’m a "good" person or to get recognition because all of this is unseen and anonymous for a reason.
I did it because in the end, I must live with myself, and if I were to change who I was out of pain and vengeance I would never be able to live with myself.
I am proud of who I am.
©ourreality
O