I'm a ghost to you.
a vessel of opacity.
I was never the figment of your affection.
I was transparent when you wanted me.
useless when you needed me.
yet I knew I was always not your high.
your wretched drug of taste.
ODing on me I was the shot of booze on the counter you couldn't chase.
yet you want me blindly.
and I suffocated just to be by your side.
to linger.
to haunt.
to be the undying love you couldn't deny.
tears in my eyes but you couldn't feel them.
the constant scars left fresh on my heart but you couldn't heal them.
I was a vessel.
a meat skin of nothingness.
your kisses were like air.
your touch grew cold like a blizzard.
suddenly my body resisted the fever.
the burn to want you.
seeking it in fragile souls.
bleeding out my heart till it drenched dry.
suddenly my body parts felt dead every time I look at you and I was reminded I'm invisible.
cunning to haunt for another warm body to lay next to.
I tried to escape.
yet the hurt linger.
it decayed my existence.
phasing in and out.
trying to touch your warmth but it gone cold as ice.
suddenly talks with you were left dead like roadkill.
suddenly my mind grew accustomed to say nothing just smile into the void that was my girlfriend.
my ears felt like they would fall off every time we talked.
yet the hurt was still there.
ruminating.
yet the love wouldn't let me be.
trying to speak but there was no voice.
nothing but wail.
the reasons why I love you, made me fade in and out like a broken vinyl record.
our last song and the chorus was bleeding begging to be put death.
to end.
the symphony of broken verses drowning in our lives yet I couldn't get you off of my mind.
as the final agonizing note was the last nail in the coffin.
as I hovered.
wanting answers.
wanting a single tear.
wanting love.
but you were no longer there.
I completely nothing to you.
©darkdeity
D