I'm Not Hiding

I am not hiding from the woman in her chair, chaining chemicals, smoke and Nicotine into her chest.
Not from the man lying halfway out of the recliner
building wonderful Victorian castles on Minecraft while the Earth moves without him, but he doesn't seem to mind.
I'm not hiding from the man sprawled out on the sofa, digging for diamonds deep beneith the dirt blocks of this fantasy world. The days pass and he is bigger than me on every tiny occasion.
His voice like nails and feathers, pouring into my heart and impaling it all in an instant.
I would not hide from so much beauty and grace of another human enjoying their world. I would not.
I'm not hiding from the smiles of little baby boys with hearts full just for me, or a genius little girl with ringlets down her back.
I'm not hiding from happiness and love
I'm only buried
I'm buried
And I reach for a hand but it grasps mine for a second
It let's me back down because it should be enough
But then I'm in the ground once again
And the stars and galaxies are light-years away
And the sun is dimming as the soil falls in
Weighing me down like bricks and concrete and the hand is out of view.
I don't expect you to hold me to the light,
We all must drop what we hold at some point, because gravity.
Gravity isn't a great friend
And I am not hiding
I am buried
©heffmomma