I haven't been able to write offlate, though my mind has been so loud, loud enough to put it down on paper but I'm scared, I'm scared of what it tells me, I'm scared of the voices that keep pushing me to edges, I'm scared of what I might write, I'm scared my truth will be out in the public, and everyone would use it against me.
I'm more scared of the words I'll draft, the same words that one day my son would read, I'm scared he would feel the same emotions I'm feeling right now and it will hurt him, I don't want him to go through anything I'm going through, to feel anything I'm feeling at this very moment.
I'm scared of these words, so I'll leave them unsaid, I'll leave then untouched for I don't want them back haunting me, let it be known to my son that mama was strong, mama is strong and no matter what she pulled through, I passed all the tests that life threw at me.
I wanted a man to love me, to be by my side, a man I'd call my own, I'll be wrong to say I wasn't given for God gave me a son, my own little man to nurture and take care off, to love and to cherish, to bring him up to be the man I've always wanted and lucky will be my daughter in-law for I'll raise a gentleman.
To the voices inside my head and the monsters hiding under my bed, there's no room for you to roam in my life, no place for you to put me down for I'm a strong woman now, it's about time you stopped tormenting me because this time round I'm stronger than ever, mightier and powerful.
To the mothers out there battling depression, struggling with self love and still force a smile for their offsprings just know you ain't alone, you are stronger than you think, you will beat this, we will overcome, we will conquer, I know it's not easy ,I know it's hard but we are stronger and mightier, we got this.
©mara_pain
Life is a series of pain
©mara_pain
M