They say there are levels in life, when you get to the top it's gonna be nice but the step you gotta take to get there ain't suger and spice.
Sometimes it's to hard, you can't handle it so you take your own life, it doesn't matter if you got kids or a wife, they call you a coward because "it's the easy way out" and it just gives them power they never felt doubt.
All the anger and stress it's just a horrible mess you don't wanna die but it's the only way to rest. Even when you sleep, sleep was never the best and all the sorrow you felt made it hurt in your chest. I'll just die and go to hell it'll be better I guess. I know this rap is gonna make more depressed but it the only way I can say the things in my chest. It's sounds mentally it's cuz my brain hurts from all the crap it digest's.
I just wanna get rid of the paid but if I do it I'll just put my name in vain. All the darkness around like cloud of constant rain I know it seems like I'm fine cuz my life is so plane but I'm not I wanna scream again and again but against the wall I'm forced to remain. A wall of darkness self pity and never ending shame. I don't wanna cry and sleep isn't enough but I'm sick and tired of tryna be tough I would be so mean I I wasn't feeling so rough
And to my momma I'm sorry that I said all those things they weren't true I just didn't know what to do but every time we fight we both always lose. I love you and I don't wanna abuse I wanna cope but there nothin to use. I wrote this time because I feel like this all the time I wanna help but all I got is nickles and dimes
©deadly
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