Last year when I lost my mom, everything was cool and calm, and then the storm broke loose I was wrapped around the devil's noose, begging to God not to let me die was lying on the floor coming off a horrible High, over and over again I got worse and worse and the pain never went away it just rode away in a black Hurse, only time would tell what my future would hold even though I was incredibly strong, resilient and bold, it was just my mom's hand and voice that I wanted to hold, I missed her so much and I lost my place in life, I was living life at the edge of the knife, not knowing what step to take, still remaining myself never being fake, oh f*** I missed that cake for my 5 years sobriety , instead I join the anti-social Let's Get High party, after a while I started hanging around with the night owls, ended up getting in trouble w a felony the first time and felt like throwing in the towel, I lost contact with my Empower and I could not even talk to my mom not even for a moment of the day or even an hour, my spirituality became sour, my using was out of hand, thought about what could I do to fix my anxiety hour by hour, pain building up like Tetris blocks inside my body, creating blockages that connected me to her spirit and when she left i went with it... She'd be proud of the strength I've had over this past year, despite all the fears and tears, we are soulmates and she will forever remain within my spirit, to heaven above i thank you for it.
Tay J Poetry
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