It Pains Me.

Happy, I'm happy.
You see me as a delight.
However through the illusion I have put up to fool you,
you see nothing truthfully of me.
I smile and I laugh, I make it seems all is so swell.
Yet the reality is, it hurts me.
It kills me, I bleed on the inside due to this.
I am lonely, I am broken.
I am not the same man.
Although I look happy, you must understand,
I am not.
I am hurting.
I am faking happiness.
Faking it to stay distant.
Faking it to try replicate how it feels to be happy.
mustering all my hard earned strength,
begging myself to be at peace to finally be happy.
But it never works.
It pains me...
If pains me to be happy.
As I know it's not real.
It Pains Me.
©danmcb