When you see me crying and tearing my flesh apart
I remember father is recording me being raped
I remember the most painful pain
I remember my first death
It didn't end there,
It became a game,
I was the field,
They were the players,
My labia manjora and minora was their favorite toy.
I was the trial test
Of the kind of pain a child can take
So they utilised this trial well
Mama just gave them space
At times she took the video
And let dad have a glimpse of my medicine.
He was my step dad,
I came to learn,
I was a mistake I heard mom say,
A sex slave they made me,
And dogs too had a taste.
I had died emotionally and psychologically
I couldn't walk so I couldn't ran
I just slept on the bed, waiting for the next series of pain
The flies flourished at my wounds
The bees mourned my soul
A living dead I was,
Used and sold to white men
Every now and then,
They called it pleasure I felt the PAIN
Tears became friendly,
Visited frequently,
Suicide is all I thought of
So one day
An angel came to me
In form of a dream
She whispered to my ear
"You have suffered enough angel, its time you let go the thread"
So she gave me a plan
And I was ready to follow it to heaven
A coward I was,
So tired cowardly and failed,
The plan was good but courage failed me ,
Suicidal thoughts kept coming,
All my attempts failed,
So I just sat on the bed and hoped the visits will come with death one day
One day .....
©magi - words from my soul
©Mara pain- life is a series of pain
©mara_pain
M