I saw you struggling against the tidal waves to get to me whilst I battled with the quick sand to hold your hand tight.
I called out for help, stretched out my hand but it wasn't enough to save us both.
I tried my best to get to you and help, I forgot about the differences between us by going over the horizon.
I've got you I said, hold on I'll be there and we can make it through together.
With the intention and drive to save you , I got to safety.
Only to see you going down the waters for waiting and holding on too long onto the reasons I gave you.
A moment was all that I needed to get to you and lift you up.
Just a moment, but you decided to give up at that same time.
If I couldn't save you why did I save my self first?
You gazed at me like you were trying to ingrain my features in your memories for eternity.
A serene smile tugging at the corner of your lips as if Christmas came early.
Like leaving is the best choice of freedom.
What about me?
You mouthed sorry for me, all you did was break me when I told you to hold on a little longer for me.
You are selfish, never asked if that was what I wanted.
Just made your own choices and left me to battle with the consequences of your actions.
I really thought we were going to last forever, like the forever that was promised between us.
When you gave up, you walked out of my life.
With every passing moment you refuse to fight the waves,it hurts more than the first.
With my unshed tears drawn in anguish came helplessness.
I watched, I prayed to anyone who could help, and I hoped it was just a nightmare.
One I'll wake up from and see you besides me with your silly grin and mesmerizing smirk on your face.
But the crippling pain in my heart tells me otherwise.
Loser!
I battled with the heavens to be with you and won, but lost to the waves when you gave up on me.
Despair, anger, confusion and guilt eating at me from the depths of my soul.
All I can remember is your smile tugging at the strings of my heart, reminding me of not trying enough and not being enough.
You have got a lot of things to do with me, not too soon, I need more time with you.
I still have something I need to tell you, to let you know you are my home and that you didn't have to let me go because we are one when we are together.
©purplejade
Y