I've thought about suicide alot lately
Having visions of my dad's funeral as well It sounds crazy but its something in me that just turns off my light anytime it wants. Anyways what I'm trying to say is the only thing other than jr that brightens my day is knowing I'll see your picture,
the Idea of missing your voice,
since I've been without your presence an energy for so long my idea of love,
my feel for love,
my existence of who I was,
EVERYTHING is deteriorating.
I'm not saying that I want to see you.
I'm saying I want to know that you still believe ... believe in love.. the idea and the feel of it..
I took my time to write back because my heartrate slowed ,
blood vessels throbbed as if they were going to burst,
and I emotionally just cried..crying happiness that you moved on,
sadness that you moved on,
and angry cause I want a King to complete your picture I want to have everything you want.
I mean gotdam I never met someone as fucking beautiful as you are.
I mean you know those Instagram model bitches every guy thirst for,
or those models making cameos in videos? They dont compare to you.
You deserve to be loved beyond your portal of sensation.
Your lips deserve to patch up a wound instead of just wrapping up a good night. The love you deserve may seem unattainable but it's possible.
Please keep trying so that I may gain strength just from it all to try as well.
©porsha..
P