Judge my therapy
At this point in life
i have gained acceptance.
The fantastical dreams and desires
countless upon a time,
imagined in early youth,
are not deferred, but expired.
Though, sought after, are the "accomplishments of aims and purposes"--
A.K.A. successor to,
the "attainment of popularity and profit".
i'm made up of material, but, it seems like what matters, is in the way.
i need absolution for in heart, in spirit.
i'm being weighed, down, by my own persistence.
My instincts, set in place, for me to survive, are killing me.
Not giving up, allowed for no failure, just slow progress.
But now, i have gained acceptance, for failures, fiascos and all.
i've given up.
The hoard has won.
And they've changed me,
as dead, living--one of them now.
It's not the happy ending advertised in the movies or novels.
Love is an intense feeling of deep affection--
better yet, subconscious feelings, nonverbal synaptic connections--
a brain drugged up on dopamine and norepinephrine.
Happiness is a journey not a destination.
A pursuit not a guarantee--ever-fleeting.
As soon as you think you're getting there, you're farthest.
These are fantasies.
If not for this rational, it would be too tempting to cease all bodily functions.
i've gained acceptance for no true love, there is just carnal love--
sex, physical, flesh.
i've gained acceptance for unhappiness, there is just self gratification--
indulging in the satisfaction of pleasure for one's self.
The true killer is to want these things.
It's a sick and cruel game.
But still, i had to lose, just so I can gain, more loss.
©username
U