Last Valentine's Day,
Lovers day, they call it as always.
You came to see me,
You brought roses even though you knew that I'm not a rose person
You brought my favorite wine and a box of chocolates. I rolled my eyes, so cliche
We prepared food in comfortable silence, you doing the chopping
We ate while talking about different things and how we don't really appreciate Saint Valentine's Day
I think that's the first time we've actually paid attention to each other, sharing stories and being a little bit open
You talked about your brother in the army and your grandpa passing on
I told you about my aunt dying of cancer years ago and my puppy that died when I was 8
It went on from business to politics
Religion to arts, then we explored music
You decided we should have a little fun like in movies
You turned on the music and we both smiled knowingly
and we danced....or at least I tried to, in my tipsy state, adding to my terrible dance moves
We were out of breath in no time, and I sat on the floor while you laid face up
We were both smiling, I couldn't help but admire your face and those beards you know drives me crazy
You noticed me staring and only grinned hard, jerk
I looked away and asked you why you were here
The last time we spent time together, we agreed to end things. I left and I saw you watch me from your window while I flagged a cab down
Friends with benefits wasn't going well for us
I knew why I agreed but I never knew your reasons
Two weeks later and there you were. In my house, inches apart
You got up and changed the song,
walked right back to me and took my hands and helped me to get up
Your hands held me closely
and we danced slowly to the song
I wasn't looking at you but I could feel your eyes on me
I hugged you, with my head on your shoulder, we continued dancing
Maybe it was the heat of the moment but I saw myself staring at your pretty eyes and those lips that's ruined me many times before
I blinked and those lips were on my neck...you always did that
and like every time I find myself moaning to the pleasure
You carassed my cheeks and kissed my lips, I kissed you back
It was a rush of adrenaline from there on
We made out passionately and clothes were off
You made love to me like you cared so much
You worshipped my naked body with yours, taking your time like you were learning all my secrets
You watched me arch my back in ecstasy and looked into my eyes as I came
Kissing my lips once more
I knew what we did, it wasn't the first time yet it felt different; good different
Then it occurred to me that we've joined the list of those who fornicates on Saint Valentine's Day
I watched you sleep while I thought of us
I was angry and ashamed of myself on how we ended up here
In the morning, I woke you up to talk and repeated the question of the previous day
You just stared at me, I lost my patience and asked you to leave
You hesitated, you wanted to say something but I didn't wanna hear it anymore
By the door, I watched you hesitate again
You walked out then turned to face me
but I shut the door right as you were saying the word
I heard you, you repeated it several times
I sat on the floor and cried while you begged outside
That wasn't the plan, the deal was no strings attached
Friends with benefits, remember?
How cliche,
I guess we crossed the line with you in love and me with emotions jumbled up in which I could only identify Guilt and this pain I can't explain
Like always, I broke another heart over my insecurities
One more reason to dislike 14th and 15th of February
Here I am a year later still thinking about you
©humble
H