the music is playing
playing the song of u
the bastrick boys
u loved them once
is this the devil or is the god
God telling me to call you
call u
the one who captured me
the one who saw me walking down the street
I finally am looking my old self before I got n to this broken marriage
I finally escaped it
by him going to jail
n love found me
u found me
u yelled at me
n I saw this handsome guy
lol u thought was a white n Mexican
but I were hawian
u walked with me
n u n u dog
all the way home
did u hear the lies on tht pretty girl
did u want to just save me from it
u told the entire town u loved me
n u once shown it
all for me to fuck it up
after we lost r home n everything
when things were no longer a party
when my weaknesses of love poured out
things between us fail apart
my cheating wats
tht I heard of
became the truth
after men misuse u so much
u can't trust
now it the cheater
cuz every lil action u see tht distatesful
u think let me hurry n cheat first
cuz u can't fathom the pain
fighting girls
girls trying to fight me
suddenly
misconstruct my mind
n made me see u as a cheat
how can I want to fight do do e u don't Kno
but I couldn't let u go
I couldn't becuz I was n love of being the chosen one to the world
I promised u if u give me ababy I'd b done with dope
I caught u shooting up
dam it I never excape this devil
that takes them all away
we're both addicts to Kno love can't win n the end this way
love doesn't win n this town
or being bound n the devil's dope
so we hurt one another
in fear of when this will take place
when the tower of love we had conquered being sober
we were in love sober
we had god
then we went back to r clinching flesh of drugs
omg he's made at me
did I use to much
omg I was stressed this day
fighting wit girls that's jealous of us
so I used it all
to fathem the pain that
it's all a trick Everyman I get
they gloify me
to make me feel there love us real
but it's all for the world to see they had me
the pretty girl n this town
all to drop me
for the ones they couldn't win
more self destruction for to add to my insecurities in the end
this curse of love I was born n
the suffering of my parents sin
but it so beautiful to me
u say u hate pictures cuz ur ugly
n my heart crushed
we made the best love I ever felt n my life
I made a promise tht no addict should say
"I'll stop drugs."
I was clean
I stopped
I didn't know tht once something stricts a recovering addict
ur first thought
is that drug
I found out I was pregnant
n I was so happy
God knew my love for u was real
when you are inside me my love for u n my entire being culptavate s every bit of u
now there's r BBY n my womb
but the secrets I with hold
the cheating whore u heard I was
tht I thought n saw as beautiful
but behind ur mind u knew
yu knew I was broken
u knew there's a reason. for my usage
that's all it takes
no good girl runs to dope
n that's just this game .
ur framed erhier way
so it just takes n takes yu
suddenly this pregnancy left a nasty scar
n. I hope I'm. just damaging the mark of gods blessings
my baby is a blessing
but my broken promise
my path of soberity is now over
now we're fighting every night
becuz I'm talking to much
I'm nagging to much
I'm the clean one
n u r still using
u trying to hide it
cuz u want to prove ur still using
ur hiding from the one who loved u never judged u since the beginning
then the needle fls from ur pocket
u wanna b the sober good dad
n to me ur all the good things tht u think I see as bad
this is y Im destroyed
becuz I take bad guys scars
n see the good
for them to take my n destroy me
my honesty if cheating
made u feel u weren't good enufc
but how can I throw myself n the trash
knowing Everytime I was n tht other man's ATMs
is becuz u broke up with me
but I want u to win do bad
I wanna look like the cheating looser
so ur love is brought ontop
cuz it's u am crying chasing n begging back
now I'm just a looser a whore
what I have heard my whole life
even before I ever knew what sex was
I was labeled things
now ur n jail
n jail cuz if me
I once told u
n the begining I wanted to b beat
u said u never do tht to me
I got comfortable n ur good love
I finally feel in love wit wats good to me
wat don't hurt me
or beat me
who tells me good things about myself daily
I could see us conquer
ur n jail
n it's all my fault
I'm tossing n turning
the devil wants me back
whispering it's my fault
now u lost the one u loved
cuz who u r
him replaying the words of all men n now u
calling me whores
the fact I'm cheated on wit these girls
so I began to b them
it's a constant things I can't excape
now I think ur sleeping wit the girl I always vent bout secretly
yo hurt me cuz now ur love for me can live without me
omg
is jod telling me to just kill myself n win to them
I can't run
I can't move
I have no money
I have no car
I have to face this girl that takes every man from me
since I married this man tht got me n to this dope
that married me
to show me I'm not going to win the beauty queen more
to show me evil wins
when the door no longer works
when ur sitting there wondering
what's any bigger then meth to use
cuz it's no longer numbing u
it's just n ur system
now u further from ur children
ur on the brink of darkness
meeting ur maker tht always lived u more then god since u are lil
before I could even Kno wat dope was
I will always b played n b the lonely one
now ur out of jail
n I put money on u
tht u say u ain't get
so I cM feel more low
n like a piece of shit
I remember running to u
pregnant with ur BBY .
to stop u from ur threat of hanging
ha going urself
I made u throw away the rope u carried
n now that rope is around me
I told u I'd kill myself n r BBY
but I didn't cum running to my side
now all the visions of love I thought we had
we're all lies
now I'm using n I'm pregnant
just back to addict
the addict
now I'm trying to prostitute myself
to measure up to the whores I'm left for
I cry inside
cuz I said I'd never do it
now the streets hear it
now they laugh at me for digging those n my sober past who been doing it
now I'm everything u ever heard them lie nsah I am
now I am doing all they have thrown n my face
n I make this promise
right now today
Braden once have my baby
I'm killing myself
becuz now I'll have to fathem DCS
another baby taken away
I wasn't judging u
cuz I was clean at a point n u weren't
it was to b clean for DCS so I could bring r BBY home
n raise the beautiful creation of us
to prove tht promise
u remember
that promise back then
when we were inive
I'd never use
if God grants me another baby
a bbhy from u
for me to love
for me to love everyday
becuz I love u do much
goodbye
©anistic
A