I know you may not understand why I say the things I do so let me lend a hand and take to the places that taught me how to be a man, I know I upset you, I promise that was not my plan
you see I never had anyone to teach me how to treat you, I do my best not to turn out like my father, cuz he's the type to hurt and beat you, he lied to my mother but every word he said was see through, cuz every night he'd be drunk again and then he'd pass out, that when it was peaceful
my mother, she was still so young, but she gave birth to me and regretted the things that she had done, it was hard not run away and forget the life that she had brung
yea those nights were hard, cuz now she had a baby and 3 maxed out credit cards,
but she did her best while my father was out wrecking bars, getting arrested, every night was different lights and police cars
fast forward to when I was 3, she was at work while my dad was watching me, she didn't know, in the hospital I was bout to be, he broke my arm and tried to say "it wasn't me"
let's talk about when I was 8, living with my drunk ass grandpa, every day he'd scream and hate, throwing empty bottles and glass plates, there were so many nights when my grandma had to take us to a super 8
that's a motel, that's where we spent a our nights when my paw was screamin go to hell, or was it stupid bitch? I was young I couldn't tell
now it's present day, it's hard to find a memory that's isn't gray, I've had 3 different dad's and none of them would ever stay, the more I try to see that light the my path will bend and stray, farther from the light but then again it helps to pray
so now you understand, I need help learning how to love, cuz the only good man I know is the one that watches from above
©deadly
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