Leeann

leeann.
I say your name.
the sound almost like a song.
a lingering love song.
I haunt for the isolated loving sparkle in your eyes.
hoping not to drown in the endless clear blue.
yet I could stare in them All day if you'd let me.
the endless beauty of a older woman.
yet I dream.
get lost.
wanting the softness of you.
the warmth that had irrevocably intriguingly and tragically seduced.
those soft spoken words like poetry to me.
yet I fell unexpectedly.
entangled in a web of infatuation I didn't want to escape from.
I fell deep.
in my adolescent mind.
or was it a boy's mind turning into a man's?
yet I craved fire and desire.
looking forward to our sessions.
falling in depth of interpersonal intimacy.
finding a therapist could be my muse.
in dreams I had you again and again.
I thought about you being with someone else.
wondering if I'd be jealous ?!
the answer could never exist.
I dream of kissing you.
doing the things that lovers do.
yet the ring on your finger taunted me.
yet every night I dream.
every night I fantasize.
it was a ache I longed for.
a touch that could've and should've been mine.
yet in dreams I didn't want wake.
fixated with the crush my body felt torn for.
yet it was forbidden.
those black long pig tails.
that toned porcelain pale body and All the different ways to melt.
those clear blue eyes that watched me as my teenage heart races.
knowing it was love on fire.
and Leeann should have belonged to me.
yet I wanted her.
in ways no one could believe.
it was indescribable.
sensational.
it was my heart falling victim to something that was like heaven to me.
writing a love letter that seemed like poetry.
yet even though I'm gone.
I can't forget about Leeann.
©darkmocha