there’s something I need to say
before the silence becomes too loud.
I feel like a prisoner in a cell,
not behind bars,
but behind expectations
and a smile I can’t always wear.
You see me standing strong,
but inside… I’m scared.
I walk through this life like a ghost in a shell,
doing what I have to,
but never really well.
Time moves, but I don’t.
I'm frozen.
Not because I don’t love you—
but because I’m afraid to break
in front of the people I’d give my soul to save.
I use silence like a shield,
hide behind laughs and light-hearted words.
You don’t see the battles I fight
because I fight them alone,
thinking that’s what a man is supposed to do.
But I miss myself.
The real me.
Before the weight. Before the fear.
Before I believed I had to be perfect
just to stay near.
I crafted this mask,
sewed it with pain and pride.
Made sure you'd never see me cry.
But I don’t want to lie to you anymore.
you deserve more than half-truths and tired eyes.
You deserve a husband who lets you in,
who tells you when he’s not okay,
who doesn’t disappear inside.
They deserve a father who’s present,
not just in the room,
but in his heart.
And I swear I’m trying.
Every day, I try.
But some days, I don’t know how to breathe
without breaking.
Some nights, I look in the mirror
and don’t know who’s looking back.
Still—
I’m here.
Still fighting.
Still yours.
I don’t want to just survive this life,
I want to live it with you—fully.
With laughter that’s real,
with eyes that aren’t hiding,
with hands that can hold joy
and not just carry weight.
So if I’m quiet,
if I seem far—
just know, I’m not gone.
I’m just finding my way
back home
to you.
©manyfaces
M