If I could do it all over again, Im pretty sure I'd win
I be trying to find inside myself to make things better again within
You would have saved me yesterday but I shamed your innocence
I took your help and with it dug an ever bigger disappointment
I wouldn't dare to tell you how much I don't feel I deserve to live
I even made a vow that I would fuck up tonight once more and that's it
But the more I think about the clouds of pain that's about to rain in again
The more my faith is weathered making wishful thinking a stupid bitch
When in hell will I learn my lesson and appreciate even an inch of sense
Im already dead so why y'all don't just go away and stop watching and helping me dig
Go find somebody else to poison in subconscious deadly invisible sins
Don't judge me, I just have to blame you so the good in me somehow exists
I know its probably almost time to pay for the consequent decisions I've built
Its so damn bad that realities suspense doesn't even feel real
But deep down I know it is and I'm honestly scared to keep living here
What do I do now that judgement day is rearing in
I have to go find somebody else to fuck that deserves that ill will for real
I'm sorry that my story is so upsetting and that I'm still here
©cistaa
C