Honey, listen, hear.
I've gotta little something
To whisper in your ear
It might make you tear
I put in the last brick
Spread the last mortar
Spent the last dollar
Flipped the last quarter
And hung the swing on the porch
Touched up the little things of course
Wait till you hear the doorbell chime
The music room idea… that was mine
So was the laundry shoot
That cost extra loot
To merely cut a hole in the wall
Funny… I was waiting for you to call
And tell me where the dinner was
Thinking you may have prepared it and left
Hey, when I think of you I think of the best
You're always prepared for my mess
Oh. Laura left a message
Your supposed to pick her up at the dentist
And at 5 stan gets out of practice
Tomorrow Lilly has a recital
And stop by the pet store she needs food for her reptiles
I'll be at home watching the game
I'll get stan if I make it out that way
I'll probably need more beer
I think that's everything dear.
Last thing we talked about earlier
That's today. Just so we're clear
That's the message I left on her cell phone
As it turns out
She wouldn't make it home
Why did she have to go alone
I'm her dog
She my bone
She's my little
Lisa moan.
Mr. Smith
I'm Pat Ringles
And my department is with vehicles
One of yours was recently in an incident
And we'll, not good is the way it went
Sir. You should sit down
If you haven't
You would have by now
And nothing can prepare you for what I have to say
Laura
Ran away with some guy to Florida
And Stan the man is gay
And I humbly regret
Let me tell you before I forget
I've been fucking your wife
Telling you is only right
She wants to remind you of your small dick
The one you couldn't satisfy her with
She says she can never forgive
What you did
By giving her a life of luxury
I don't see anything wrong with that
But hey, that's just me
Anyways she wants you out of the house
And not another word out your mouth
Or she'll make up some shit while filing for divorce
You married this bitch… by choice? Yours?
Dude she's just crashing at my place
She came on to me like a whore
I'll fuck her but I don't wamt her either
She says your a pussy because you won't beat her
And she likes it up the ass
She just wanted you to ask
Shit…. I learned that fast
Good bye Mr Smith
Your wife's sure got some nice tits
Nice nipples too
They perk up
I like how they bounce when we fuck
I gotta go now Mr Smith
Have a good day
And good luck
I thought
Surely this must be a prank
Nothing ever works out my way
Who to I have to thank
I bet its thats the guy on her messages
I believe it is…. Hank
What he don't know though
That bitch can take a 24 in dildo
And I'd rather fuck a garden hose
And letting her move in?
Can't make a house wife out of hoes
He should know how that goes
I think I'll give him a call and tell him so
Hello?
Hello.
Sir… it's much to my delight
I'd of paid you to take my wife
Sir you must not really know me
My name is Rick
You know… the guy with the small dick
You work down at the DMV
Damn 2 major blows…. I'm really sorry
Just so you know I'm not mad
Hell I don't at all feel bad
I've no sarcastic attitude at all
Thank you for your call
When you rang I was washing her lipstick off my balls.
You dumb fuck she's not my wife
She's a hooker that I met last night
We got your name from a friend at the bar
A special kind of prick he said you are
His name is Steven
And he says hello… told you had get even
The whole damn things on tape
You got excited durring your little fantisy role play of rape
She played along
Why did you really think she wanted the camcorder on
You fucking ding dong
You shouldn't have taken Steve to court over his dog
Now your name will be in the paper
And you just got robbed
Dumbass
While you were making your call…
Go look in your bathroom
She's not at your house at all
I picked her up outside your drive way wall
I waved... you probably didn't see me
The vegetation is tall
Well I've gotta go
you asshole
I'll enjoy knowing that I can assist
helping you fall.
Bye now y'all...
©akathatguy
A