For so many years I would hide
Hide to save myself from who was meant
Who was meant to protect me
Yet who was meant to protect me harmed me
Who was meant to protect me felt me
You were supposed to be my protector
You were supposed be my guide
You were supposed to be my safety
You were supposed to be my hero
Every night I would cry under the thick sheets
I could feel a warm unwelcomed touch slide
As it would slide from ankle to hip
One hand to wrap around my hip
Another hand at my head to go through my hair
The protector's voice whispers through my ear
The memories within still drown me
The memories so vivid and hard to forget
They caused so many wrong directions
They caused me to forget even what I was worth
I could only wish for them to go away
For them to go away to find
To find where I really even am
Most days feeling so absent
The days feeling so non existent
Feeling like as if it's all just a dream
Just a dream waiting to awaken from
Let me feel as if I'm even real
So many times I wanted the cuts to start
Start to open my skin and let all the red pour out
Let it pour out like the tears that poured out
Tears that poured out till I was told to stop them
I wanted it all to be the end to see a brighter end
It never became the end like I wanted it to be
The demons within from the memories still
Still haunting me to torture me till I see my end
My end will not be soon so I live in pain
Fighting may make me stronger
But fighting also kills within all at once
Just let me free myself from the memories
Let me live in peace to be what others need
Let me be what everyone needs
Let me live to be
Let me live to be what everyone needs
©angelsfall
A