dropping water ballons on people's heads
wishing people dead
anything to occupy the mind when it's bored
oh Lord.... why the hell was I born
I get a laugh counting out change at the grocery store
or farting really loud in line....
then turning around
And asking the prrson behind
if they just did that
And I act mad
I drive slow durring the hours that every ones rushing to work
I get a kick out of being a jerk
And I swap out election signs in people's yards
And egg their cars
And I go to bars
And take all the pool chalk
And tell people I'll drive them home
when in fact I walked
and if its raining everywhere I go I point it out
and I talk about
how stupid people can be
of course, excluding me
for pointing out the obvious obviously
and I steal the neighbors cable
and order paperview
and a few porn channels too
when they get the bill theyre all confused
they havent a clue
I throw my fast food bags out the window
and i don't care where they go
on busy evevators I push and hold hold
in hospitals
I take empty packages to the post office on Saturdays
And tell them they broke the contents inside
And i leave them there with them lolking like why
would I want to mail them to a mr. kiss my behind....
then I go to the food Bank
And I ask if they can cash my check
for less than a dollar
when they say no I holler
that I want a supervisor
they kick me out and say I need help
then I go and see my drug dealer
I talk about my day and we laugh
And I steal his stash
then I ask him for a front
when he goes to get it out the back I run
to my only friends girlfriends house
to play a game of find the mouse
in her blouse
then I get Hungary
but I've no money
so i go to a fast food restaurant
tell the guy behind the counter he's a cunt
he got my order wrong
I was just at the drive through
they forgot my whole order and what's he going to do
of course I already paid
does this operation run this way
dont rip me off
I ordered 4 cheeseburgers a drink and a large tattor tots
And that's all I got
all except this pot
that I'll smoke in the parking lot
leaning on a car that's not mine
And inviting girls for a ride
when I get tired of doing my civic duty
I go looting
the offering plate
at our mother Mary's and the Saints
it's ok it's just a church
And the priests a pervert
he hit on me
when i was three
And my father broke his knees
I only take the pennies
And I lodge them in coke machines
at the bus station
And I check all the lockers
some people don't lock them
and I take their stuff
hey, this is life and I've got it rough
and tomorrow I'll steal a shopping cart and dress like the homeless
And beg while drinking Guinness
And and Hennessy
then I repeat the routine.
let me be clear that this does not resemble me. I wanted to write something funny.
That's all. hope you enjoy.
©akathatguy
A