I think I may have found some words to describe my feelings of losing my angel, Ricky Figueroa Jr.
Lost in a black abyss, my voice echos in eerie silence. where am I who am I. I cannot remember.
Please Lord wake me from my tormenting nightmare that stalks me while I'm awake.
I scream into emptiness! Let my life be the way it was.....what we worked so hard for.
So, many obstacles, hurtful moments.
Like the Devil constantly on my aching back.
I need rest from this torment and pain! Or is this meant?
Why so much loss and pain? Oh they say I'm strong completely alone. What have I gained?
A stronger back, Thicker skin....to handle more pain? Maybe my job is to see what a human can go through without giving in.
It's been said by ignorant mouths, don't live in the past. But, look to the future!
Oh ignorant souls, Who I don't bother, ask what would you do?
The past like history tends to repeat itself. That Says I'm denstin for pain.
I beg for no one to love...I don't need history to repeat it's self and be the same.
What happens when the love you have been with since childhood, is gone. How it's so hard to carry on.
Alone and scared, missing half your soul...your torment will be forever long.
Lonely nights, misunderstandings. Rapes, abuse. No one there to turn to.
I pray I can be released from this never ending nightmare. There is no one as you know out there who cares.
Alone and vulnerable, I am with out you. destined for horror what do I do.
Unable to pull it together. As people do everywhere. They don't know you or us.....They don't know my innocence or my everlasting nightmare of dispare.
©
P