people say the apple don't fall far from the tree
daddy for years its only been you and me
and for years you've had to be a mother of four
daddy I've been broken for a really long time
I don't understand why
but all I do is suffer inside
I wish I was more than just numb
cause id rather feel empty
then have this pain that I hide
here's my story
I was a child
with a disappearing smile
mom calling the cops
to make my father sad
making me mad
saying be here before I make them take your dad
just to control the way I thought
but with my brain I fought
lost in the pain
my family became the towns shame
I've been staring at this blank page for hours
its like an artist intuition
trying to draw my life in this book
but I don't know where to start
I've had hurt in my heart since I was thirteenth
started being an adult
with out knowing what life means
the therapist wasn't on my side
making it seem like it was her way or die
making me hide
should a child have to do everything by them self's
if so why have a mother at all
its easier to stay to my self
if I was going to have to mother my self
now your asking why
see you left when I needed you most
you left the party of six cause you couldn't be the host
I can't blame it all on you
cause daddy you had a part in it to
I have my own family now
and I'm so scared
I'd end up like the two of you
my baby's are always watching me
like mommy is that the right move
but that's life an its lived by how you choose
I wish I was more then just numb
cause I'd rather be empty then have this pain inside
I want this pain to go away
I want my soul to die
instead of feeling it hurt everyday
and I don't want my kids with wide eyes just yet
I don't want them to know how the world really is
cause life's a bitch and then you die
making me sad inside
but babies close your eyes
I promise I'll put beauty in your life
©mari
M