The darkness, darkens and blackens my heart
I should be healing but this feeling tears me part
Is happiness a real thing, up for stealing and where do I start
The shades, they graze eyes and everything fades
The friends I made, just went on their ways
Emphasis, as I emphasise on healing these days
Life is my enterprise, I'm building my fate
Feeling misguided as the feelings I hided are the ones that I hate
I leave it all to timing, it's hard to see the silver lining
When the mist is crowding , it's hard to see you're great unless you change your surroundings
It's hard to hear that you're worth it with all the loudness
It's hard to see that you're hurting with proudness
I'm misfit as I'm told by my instinct
Not everybody is built for love
So forgive me as I stare into your eyes and tell you I only want kisses and hugs
The sensation, and the realizations I feel from touch
Love is my demise , look at the pain through my eyes but I still miss it so much
And if everyone has someone and something worth fighting for
I'm just sitting hurt , thinking why I'm like this for
The compromises, the broken promises
Unspoken truths,stress and trauma
Who could be worth the drama ?
Who could be worth the sleepless nights
Over thinking if everything is all right
Wondering if one day they'd leave you in darkness
Especially if they are your light
I'm too afraid so I take flight
Can't wait, that's not a trait I possess
I'll leave and abandon the ones I love the best
They've tested me, never settled in the environment they nested me
I'm lost and I'm not a cause
I'm more of an effect
What humans would be like with feelings they neglect
Always in my thoughts and night
Constant feeling of regret
They say I'm broken , they're right
But if you sleep, you'll be woken , and if I can I might
Find true love
Know what happiness is
If I'm being honest, without the modesty
I want to let somebody close to me
Without the hurt or possibility of ghosting me
Especially if they mean the most to me
Just experience what life is
Give me something worth fighting for
As of right now life doesn't feel , like it's worth living
And I promise I'll change, be a better me as soon I find what's missing
Will you wait?
©astero
A