D

mascaraed of fake smiles

I'm just 18 but I'm drinkin whisky and smokin green, I got a death wish hoping this all just a dream and maybe I'll wake up to coffee and cream or will tomorrow be pills and lean
I hate it here, I'm tired of living life in sadness and fear, tired off the numbness from crying in my beer but I gotta be strong and not shed a tear cuz weakness only means the end is near
but is the end so bad? if my pain would end I'd be glad, I wanna escape the this nightmare full of red flags
I just wanna rest so the sad eyes lose the bags, lose these ragged cloths and dirty rags, move away from all these shags and live a life that I can brag, at this point I've lost all that I ever had, to know this is it makes me so freaking mad
I hate addiction I hate conflictions I wanna live my life with more conviction than what I have in this prediction
I want more meaning in my life, I wanna be good enough for my beautiful wife, I wanna end all her pain and strife but I feel like I'm adding to it so I pick up this knife and cut easy not to end my life
it's and endless mascaraed of make smiles that I parade, but at night I cry as I pick up this blade but it's the only way to make the pain fade, for a happy life I would trade but I guess I get for what I paid, empty bottles, drugs and getting lade, it's not what I want but it's the life I made
©deadly