I have a voice that nobody hears,
I've lost many parts of me over the years.
slowly dissolving, looking for change.
messed up more times then not, always in pain.
rebuilt my bridges, then knocked them all down.
standing unsteadily, unstable ground.
leaving a trail for somebody to find.
lots of small fragments of one messed up mind.
longing for quiet yet fearing the silence.
screaming yet equally scared of the violence..
lashing out, calming down, saying I'm sorry.
then passing the blame on and drowning in worry.
90 percent of me wriddled in dread
with the problems it helped me create in my head..
10 percent normal. a functioning person
but this changes daily, there's more than one version.
trying so hard though I'm feeling so frail,
cos the truth is you all just expect me to fail.
but ill keep fighting on, being strong, well whats left of me.
but ill never be alone here.
just me and you. anxiety.
©katiecoady
K