I remember long ago
Everything used to be so simple
Making crazy decisions
Learning from them as we go
Becoming weak or strong
Depended upon the amounts
Of right and wrong
Never used to look over my shoulder
In constant fear that the next human I encounter
Is to be just as horrible as the one before them
I remember not harboring so much fucking hate and evil anger inside
What does it mean to be alive?!
Tortured by thoughts of insanity
Every night
Coated with a distinguishing amount of disparity
As its disguise
I need for it all to go the fuck away!
I never thought I would be living life this way
Trying anything....
I MEAN AYTHING!!!
To numb what has been tragically thrown at me
Is there anything that can cure me?
What am I being punished for, really?!
Can anyone tell me please!
I have learned the fucking lesson already!!
I remember the me that I used to love
That me that I USED TO FUCKING BE!!
Who is this new girl that now resides within me?
Strutting around like she is the fucking queen
I don't think I like her company
But no one gives a flying fuck
That she is an extremely rude cunt
This bitch screams so much bullshit
I am at my wit's end
She’s polluting my dreams
Overtaking and squeezing the life out of me
Eventually I will be deemed as fucking crazy
Unable to have anything
But insanity
Meanwhile everything that means anything to me
Will continue to slowly be ripped away from me
Eventually I will just give in
Letting the madness finally claim its victory
And when
My heart, though once good
Melts away
As if never really part of me
©shantilly
S