Those midnight muddled musings have broken through into mornings light,
I thought my mind would leave them behind,
that they would be the sole preserve of the darkness,
but know they have nagged me and chased me into the day.
They whirl and shift these thoughts of things I've pegged my being on, had pride in and lived my waking and dreamless hours on,
but now the seeds of doubt have had their oxygen and fertilizer, watered by a persistent worried wondering and refusal - no, inability to sleep. Those trees have grown to thick hedges that I can not climb over, I can not reach their other side.
Disappeared and dissolved at the first signs of doubt, my thing, and I have again been so easily parted,
this time it feels different, so completely removed from me,
that I doubted that I ever had it at all.
Or could my thing be tangled up in the hedge somewhere behind me,
caught for once, wondering away from its keeper,
should I turn around and go back, kneel and stand in search of it, to rescue it once more.
Those muddled midnight musings that deprived my mind of rest, then chased me into the day, remain now still running, even half answered, they still roam, banging around bouncing off the sides of my tired brain.
©bellevies
B