I was born in 1963
Into the Lubel family.
And when it came to clean my arse
Thought I'll show that Midwife what's up The Khyber Pass.
When it came to check my Terriesl
My mothers face was red like cherries.
For i had pee'd into the midwifes eyes
Which caused my Dad to look surprised.
Then she grasped me by the feet
As if to say i'll not face defeat.
And lifted me up to apply some Sudocreme
At which point i gave a scream.
After a cuddle with my mummy
And a breastfeed that tasted yummy
I was handed back for the nappy
To be changed at which i wasn't happy.
I was in tears for ages on end
Thinking this woman's driving me around the bend.
Started wriggling.Then took aim
As i peed on her once again.
As mum and dad entered through the nursery door
I decided I can't take this midwife any more.
So to ensure that she'd depart
Over her hands i dealt a fart.
I was so very happy that i'd dealt this blow
That my lower cheeks were all aglow.
R