Hearing that shocking letter made her heart drop, and she desperately needs her brother back, but she know she can not get him back, never. Nothing has been the same without him. Trenti is gone, and he will never come back on this earth again and she knows that. Even though she tells herself that one day she will be with her brother, but that one day she decided to be is now. She wants to be with her brother now in heaven. Since she became inspired by his suicide letter, she will now write her own telling her final truth. She is going to put her letter by her night stand before she takes her life. Since it is very difficult for Martia to speak her truth to her family, this is her only chance to come clean and to be honest with them and to herself on paper. The paper has become extremely powerful in this day and age, and it is like millions of children and young adults expresses themselves more on paper than they speak what is on their minds with a person. It is simply writing your thoughts and feelings to understand them more clearly. And if you struggle with stress, depression, or anxiety, keeping a journal can be a great idea. It can help you gain control of your emotions and improve your mental health. But sometimes the paper can be another gate way to suicide, having suicidal thoughts, and that is what Martia is having. Her writing begins now, and she draws a happy face emoji at the top.
To: My Sad Family 😞
From: Martia
....Im sorry everyone, I'm sorry I let everyone down. I even let myself down. I just got to a point where I am so disgusted about life and myself. Everyone will be disappointed after reading this letter but I don't care, honestly I don't give a shit anymore about what anyone thinks... I don't even give a fuck what you all will say about me after reading this, because as I am a disappointment to you, I am disappointed in you guys too for not being there for me, and I deeply hate everybody now including mommy and daddy. I know how much mommy and daddy hate for us to say such bad words, but I don't give a shit what mommy and daddy thinks anymore since I am going to kill myself, you know why? Because Trenti inspired me to do it. After reading his letter, it made me so much of how I deeply misses him, and he wrote that letter for a reason and everybody just ignored the fact that he wanted everyone to be honest to each other and talk to each other on how we feel about things and you guys didn't give a shit about that letter or what he said, even if you say you do, you asses don't. I give up on myself and with life. Everyone is a fucking disappointment to me, and I really hate you guys, and it seems like no one even cares about anyone's feelings anymore. I wish we could of stayed in India. Everything was so peaceful there, but noooooooooooo..... We had to move to this shit hole city what you call America. Even though I said last year that I like it here, but hell, I lied...I hate this fucking city, I hate everyone in America, I hate our school, I wish everyone burn in hell here, and including this family. I hate this shity family. Trenti loved you guys, but I don't, and I never will, and you know what? I don't care about your feelings either, I don't care how everyone would feel after reading this. If you think this is a way of me releasing my anger on paper and just talking, than you are wrong, this is the truth of how I actually feel about this world and about this shit family. I actually hate everyone. No one cares about me anymore and you damn sure didn't care about Trenti either. He is the only one I love I will get to see in heaven.....
She continues writing on the next page.
Author Ciara Webb
Story written by Ciara Webb
Co-author Mansi Rupesh More
©mairawrite
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