The next session, Mrs. Atkins calls Mala and Chris inside the office and ask them a few questions and gives them some tips and suggestions to help them both move forward and let go of the past.
"I am going to give you both some tips on how to move forward and let go of your past. So,"
1. Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts. How you talk to yourself can either move you forward or help you reframe your thoughts.
2. Create physical distance. That means do your own work in which you both need space. Chris you definitely need to start allowing Mala to have her space so she can work on herself, and you need space too Chris to work on your self so the both of you can practice these steps to get better so when ever you two get into a bad situation at school or anywhere, you would know how to handle it. Focusing on yourself is very important. Mala, you have to make the choice to address the hurt that you’ve experienced to Chris, after you learn these steps. When you think about a person who caused you pain, bring yourself back to the present. Then, you focus on something that you’re grateful for.
3. Practice mindfulness. In which being gentle with yourself, love yourself, and allow the negative emotions to flow. When you start practicing being present, your hurt will have less control over you, and you will be able to have more freedom to choose how you want to respond to your life.
4. Accept that the other person may not apologize.
"What do you mean by that?" Mala asked.
"Meaning, just say you and a friend get into a terrible situation she did something bad to you like hurt your feelings and you hate her for it to not forgive her. You stop talking to her and that you are trying to make her apologize to you so you both can be friends again but you are angry with her and you're waiting for her to apologize and she doesn't. By making the situation better is to accept that she will not apologize and forgive you, and to move forward in that situation is that you would have to accept the fact that she will not apologize, and will not talk to you for a long time. Waiting on someone to apologize who hurt you will slow down the process of letting go. To make peace is to move forward and find another friend. Understand?" Mrs. Atkins asked.
"Very," Mala said. "God I hope me and Kathy won't have a falling out like that," she thinks to herself.
"Okay number 3," Mrs. Atkins said.
3. Engage in self-care. This means
When you are hurting, inside it often feels like there is nothing but hurt. Practicing self-care can look like setting boundaries for you, saying the word "no," doing the things that bring us joy and comfort, and listening to our own needs first is the practice of self-care. It is allowing you to know how to put your foot down when you feel influenced by someone. This can help you both on getting caught up in peer pressuring in school.
"Wow," Chris said.
"Someone making you do something you do not want to do, like drugs, alcohol, parties etc... and you say "NO," that is not me, that is not my lifestyle and just walk away," Mrs. Atkins informs.
"But I love parties," Chris said.
"Haha, I'm sure there are things that you don't do," Mrs. Atkins said.
"Yes," Chris said.
"Well, that is what you call an act of self-care. You are putting yourself first of not listening to what others say or do, you are following your own boundaries for yourself of learning how to put your foot down by saying "NO" in a influential situation and always expressing how you feel. So this session is up for today, so I will see you both next week," Mrs. Atkins informs.
Author Ciara Webb
Co-Assistants 26Khayali and Ridhi P
Story written by Ciara Webb
Co-author Mansi Rupesh More
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