Running intensively
Running in utter state of
fear Running with these
tears,
Along with the poisonous panic i could'nt even bear
Running with my heart beat
Being spiking high to the skies ,
I can laugh i can joke , i can smile
But my heart dances in this flame of pain and cries ..
Running and embracing close this small beautiful basket of unspoken dreams ,wonders and memories passing through
the dense and silent scary forest
Running in order to
save this basket from being burned into mere ashes but by whom? .By the nightmarish mystical monster haunting me
Resumed running for my life as i shall but suddenly i see eventually there is no way further !to run and hide from this walking hell ,
Devil stopped and Stared right into my eyes with a evil smile as i desperately cry,
Can not express the panic he amplify
In fear assuming he would
tear my dreams apart again,
Leaving me in constant state of sorrow and indescribable pain
While , Writing my heart out is
Addictive as cocaine ,That monster taking away as well my original nature ,
Its a creature in the form of
nightmare~ , Giving a mental breakdown
Quite hard to bare
Those scary eyes
,Shaking my heart
Poison of Anxiety injected to my veins~
Noticed that monster from close realising it not to be*
an real creature
,Just a wild part of me!
~The echo of past traumas burnt inside my Brain~
Losing several things to that evil reflection of my own frightening self
,I ultimately Lost my wonders ,my will... to wake up and start
the day ,can someone give me a valid
Reason to live ,to stay,
Now neglecting the beauty of little pleasures, such a
Boredom that i do not
intend to abide ~ lost is that self esteem and where is my pride ?
Smiling with this pretty smile but feeling
Pretty dead inside ,
I cant' endure it anymore ,
Will i survive or
Is it my last ride ?
Severe ideation of suicide
Past turning my present upside
down
My Wild insecurities haunting me
do not know where to hide
tired of this hide and seek
Stronger i will stand now !
Because it is a while of being so weak
Even though my depression is on its peak.
Holding on to the edge anyhow
But unfortunately no rescue seem to come &
Life seems too dumb
, Mind is very powerful
Could not restrain ,eventually
Burning in the destined hell of a pain
Eventually drowning in the well of a vain
Poems and music are my favourite healer , They say love is a drug everyone is high on ,but i cant find my dealer , You can literally feel alone in a crowd ,loneliness doesnt shout ,my friend
It is purely a silent killer
Everything seems pointless and dumb,
Where can i find a better friend than this diary and find a better therapist then
My rum ,Yes
I hope to overcome
I wish to overcome
The days on which i did not fantasied
Of Suicide
Are so rare ,
Its as if i die tomorrow
I would'nt even care
,They said we are with you homie but then why so
No hand out apparent
to appear?
, Losing my self and my vision this dark lonely street
was very profound to bear,
the mere thing holding me & pating me when i am down are these verses
and this beer..
In depression you often cry from
Inside thus ,nobody hears your scream,
People like around being happy and rich people who cares about us dude ,the society is truly mean..
,In this horrible state u can't even shed a tear, Are you sad or are u just numb Hey rishav why your eyes are
red is it the opium?
or the demons screaming inside your head ,Faking a smile is mastered by you
but your eyes reflects that something important inside u is dead
, I could'nt find reasons to leave the
Bed , Can't find motivation
to start my day ,yes dear a case so severe ,
Life is a myth ,nothing is known
Nothing seems clear .
All i want now is to somehow Disappear
I see no point or rationality in the rat race
Of money, knowledge , and illusion of success ,
All my friends are ambitious
But thinking about future only makes
Me restless , I tried to have a control
Over my feelings as my therapist told me , but sorry i could not although i tried to supress .Even tho i shared my heart out to my loved ones ,but
They wont understand ,so it merely makes me a mess
My mind therefore
Twisting my soul up side
down can u Tell pleasseee
No help seem to appear in this Scary dark town ,
Somebody please tell me.
In the
blackhole of
hopelessness
Will i
Drown ???
- Rishabh sharma
©rishabh568
R