“Mxm” from HER Side
6:14 PM – “I’m good”
I typed it fast, like if I said it enough
it would become true.
“Good” is easier than “I’m breaking.”
“Good” doesn’t beg for answers I’m too tired to give.
8:05 PM – that sad face
No words left. Just this little emoji
carrying every “you said you’d change”
and every night I waited for a version of you
that showed up on time.
8:26 PM – “Don’t believe it nhe”
Not because I don’t want to.
Because hope is heavy when you’ve carried it alone.
You’ve said “I love you” before.
You’ve said “I’ll try” before.
My heart remembers the timestamps.
“*Will try kukhombisa ngetento…*”
Actions. Yes. That’s the language I understand now.
Words were free. Trust cost me everything.
“We will not be able to see each other more….
But we can try.”
Try? My love, I’ve been trying since the first promise broke.
8:53 PM – “Mxm.”
One sound. One breath.
It means: I hear you.
It means: I’m tired.
It means: Part of me still cares,
but the rest of me is guarding what’s left.
It means: “Please forgive me” came too late,
and too many times before.
You say love shouldn’t beg, but broken love does.
Mine begged you to stay consistent.
Mine begged you to choose me when no one was watching.
Now I’m begging myself to believe I deserve peace
more than I deserve apologies.
So here’s my truth, not my wall:
I want to believe you.
I want “I mean it” to be the last time you ever have to say it.
But my heart needs time, not texts.
Needs proof, not poetry.
If “Mxm” is all I can give tonight,
let it be this:
I’m not gone.
I’m just quiet.
And quiet people are still deciding.
Choose me with your life, not just your keyboard.
Then maybe “Mxm” turns into “Okay… let’s try.”
-Shakes Zerocool_354
