Hey it's been a minute and I be lieing if I said you don't cross my mind whens it fray
we met in highschool and as we talked day by day the more closer to you i got the more i became afraid,
If there's anything I regret about how we once made eachothers heart beat fast then slow,
It was that I never got to truely explain what you meant to me it was personal,
I was going through a bad time in my life,
you created beauty in my brain opened my heart and allowed me to see every aspect of your mind,
I remeber highschool long ago the first time i walked you to your bus stop
waiting i never wanted you to leave but i watched you leave everytime n even when i wasnt looking i could see n feel you in my mind,
the first time i knew we were true,
like most times i felt something but just couldn't find it in me to say I didnt want to be a ruse,
as you got on the bus I remember the blue flannel shirt and those blue jeans n of course that ass so nice lol,
you paid went halfway then came back down the steps to the bus half way down u said it I LOVE YOU and i knew there was nothing about the way i was feeling that was untrue,
So long ago thankyou for letting me be apart of your life,
but my life aint like others i felt at that time that time i was never worthy of that of you your soo beautiful i loved looking deep into your eyes as you spoke, and i still think about you often so i had wrote,
i was going away to prison at 17 for something i didnt do,
all the pain i felt in my whole life you took away with just those 3 words,
I didnt want you to wait cuz that wasnt fair to me u shouldnt putting your life on hold cause of me,
so I said dont wait baby i regret all the times i made ur younger self cry,
I did 13 months and you still was there to pick up my mind,
and i did what i always did i pushed you away i just never felt worthy of happiness and i wanted you to be happy i didnt think that was for me to do, i felt any other guy was better for you,
because i had so much that i couldn't be sure any day would be a day where i could push that self destruct I guess sincs i was 6 i lived my life like i Just dont give a fuck,
and whoa to those who try to play with my helpless mind,
I was wrong boy was I wrong baby I fucked up and went back cuz i needed to make money got popped again for a gun n drug,
so here i go again a 2 and a half year bid but nothing n i do mean nothing will ever make me budge,
aint that a bitch same prosecuter same judge,
well there i go locked every night i escaped in my mind and envisioned all of our love,
you had a baby well i was away and i heard there was another man you loved,
I was soo sad my heart dropped and what i was afraid of seemed to become my reality i would be in this life without you,
well that was the worstest pain i ever felt in my life so from then, i made mistakes got to a higher yard,
and things changed i wasnt the same after this last bid to a man with nothing to lose from just an innocent kid,
when it comes down to it its time to close the mind,
I dont wanna hurt no1 but i must protect myself as i am confined,
in a riot now every race is getting their issue,
ppl are gonna feel my fucking pain by means of damaged tissue,
then i went home str8 away from the walls, in the mind i did my best to be a productive member of society,
I got out and there you were again my angel baby turns out that dude was a sorry bitch,
he put his hands on you when i see him he will feel my pain,
so a week out and only god knows u should know ur heavy on my brain,
finally i got to tell you how much you mean to me in that motel as i got to meet your son,
he fell asleep and finally i get to feel every part of you so patient and passionately i thought of this moment longer than i care to admit,
damn baby as im inside i feel everything and i never wanna stop kissing your lips,
and so fast it couldnt last as long as i wanted i wanted it forever,
but i was still messed up in my mind so i knew i had to go away and be alone,
i left you again through a text on the phone,
yeah another sorry mofo but i cant say i ever lied i regret you ever having the feeling i had all my life hopeless feeling lesser of yourself or your ugly your so beautiful,
with that georgeous smile i do anything to bring it out,
the problem wasnt you it was me on the outside and the man inside myself who fights n feels he deserves to be punished,
because i wasnt loved as a child and i was so alone, I plan to keep my essence,
And i promise to always continue to be a better man than i was yesterday well baby I LOVE YOU UNTIL NEXT TIME....
©frost
F