They seem to fall the same position every week,
Glancing at my arms waiting for them to bleed,
My heart worn out by constant heartaches,
Convincing myself that my love were just mistakes,
I guess I'm not as strong as I thought when it ended,
Its what I get to eat the fruit that was forbidden,
I'm done being the cause of constant conflict,
Yes I know I get that I didnt ask for all of it,
Everyone wants something different from me,
I'm sorry I can't keep up with everything,
Honestly I didnt see the point to even try,
In my head i really tried to make things right,
I'm silenced by those who felt power over me,
Balling up my fists pounding my head and my knees,
They're getting so loud I can't hear my thoughts,
Im trying to keep it together and give it all that i got,
It seems to grow stronger the more I disobey,
Frown upon me its okay cause I do the same,
Remember the anger and hate you all had for me,
Cant be perfect the way others wanted me to be,
The more I tried to help others is when im weaken,
Its hard to focus and im always forgetting,
I hate the hopelessness I always feel inside me,
They'll never let me go so I can't be free,
I question everything I do cause I could be wrong,
Poisoned mind and soul is far from being gone,
Screaming and arguing of the choices I've made,
No one understands and doesn't get why I'm afraid,
They say its good to have someone to talk to,
Difficult to watch the conversations fall through,
Searching for reasons to still be here living,
Just using my girls for a reason seems selfish of me,
I know they can see how much I'm troubled,
Is it really fair for them to watch me struggle?
©deathbear
D