I love him but I'm no longer in love
I know that's the most childish thing ever but it's true
He is really a wonderfully sweet man
But I can truly no longer see a future with him
Growth together has stopped
And I feel like I take care of everything
I do all the cleaning when I actually feel like I can
I sweep and mop do the dishes and laundry
But if I were to leave something to get messy or dirty
He would say "we" need to clean
And I don't think he knows how frustrating that is
The last time we had sex, it felt more of a pity fuck
Like he felt bad for me because I was so upset he hadn't touched me in so long.
Is that fair to me?
Is it fair that the only way he will touch me is if I go crazy enough for him to finally do something?
I've tried to talk to him about it
I've tried to talk about having sex
His excuse is he's always too tired.
I get it.
He works nights but it upsets me
How can you be so tired that when your wife is willing to do the work you refuse
Am I not good enough?
Am I not beautiful enough?
Why do I feel like you shy away at the very thought of me
It hurts.
I used to be able to see this whole future of me and him
It's gone now
It's blank and I can no longer feel anything for him
I still care for him
But not the way a wife cares for her husband
I feel like I barely know him
And as much as people say try to reconnect
I don't want to
And I'm ok with the distance growing between us
I'm ready to move on
©echo
E