I could see that I was losing you
I could see I wasnt choosing you
I could feel myself moving you
from my heart, to a place
in the back of my mind
What was I looking for?
What or who in this world,
outside of you was I trying to find?
How could I force myself
to forget you?
when it was you who was there for me everytime.
you gave me the voice, the feelings, the thoughts.
gave me the words to my every rhyme.
it was your beat that played the tunes that gave life to my accapella of love, life and whats supposed to be.
and it was me who runneth not from my poison but from you.
you who wants nothing but to be close to me.
finding things to replace the one thing that means the most to me.
I was in so much pain I had to numb myself. my cerebral vibrating and searching for an antidote of emotional survival.
closing you out in the process. feeling no pain, yet no joy, because you can't numb one or the other. and in the process made you my rival.
How could I explain that to you.
how could I pitifully tell you thats what I was doing.
how could i think you didnt know.
how could i think you of all people you wouldnt understand.
for whence I feel asleep
I awoke to a terror everlasting
Now I'm humbly asking, please stretch out your hands.
©riversong
R