have a mind of their own
I can cry with the right song
The right book or show/movie
Honestly, I'm really emotional
And at times I don't like it
I don't like crying in front of others
I don't like people to see me hurt
So I bottle them up
Hide them away and don't let them out
I've been told and I know it's bad
It's easier to just talk it out
To cry it out
To just let go of it all
But... It's hard when you feel you're alone
Not alone like no family or friends
But like the only one who's down
Who's just always sad but hide it
I've been hurt so many times
I'm good at pretending I'm fine
Pretending that it's all good
Laughing and joking about it
When I'm actually crying inside
Or crying in the middle of the night
Because of that one song
That one sad song that just knew how I felt
Or that one video that felt my pain
I know I'm broken
I know the reason for being this way
It's just me
I've felt like I wasn't normal
Like I shouldn't be this way
That my emotions should be more "normal"
I used to wish that
Used to wish that my emotions we're gone
That I was emotionless
Then the pain would be gone
Losing family members
Getting dumped and humiliated over and over again
It's a little much for me
My emotions...
Even my heart
My emotions may be weird
May be confusing sometimes
Even to me
I know they come from my heart
I know that some people may be like me
But... I'm glad that I'm able to feel
©orchid
O