My Father, my Angel.
Dad, you were there when I took my first breath,
Just as I was there hours, minutes and seconds before your death,
The pain you were going through,
Feeling helpless and watch is all I could do,
I wanted to take your cancer away,
I wanted you strong and to be here to stay,
I wanted you back and well again,
But heaven had other ideas and wanted an angel to gain,
God took you in the most awful and painful way,
He wouldn't even let us finish our day,
12:35pm will be a time I will never forget,
I love you dad - I have no regrets,
Apart from being so useless am sorry I couldn't fix you or help,
I really do hate the cards that you were dealt,
I hope I did you proud in the end,
Now am broken I know I'll never mend,
I'll never forget you ever,
No matter how much I fall deeply under the weather,
I never got the chance to grieve,
All I want to do is pack up and leave,
You was such a good man dad,
I'll make you proud I promise I'll never get that bad,
I hope you now watch over me,
And help me to be able to see,
What do I carry on for?
I can hear you say I've my life to live and lots more,
To grow old and be happy,
Even to be senile and a little bit wappy,
Even though the pain of losing you is like being stabbed with the sharpest knife,
I now know how you felt when you lost your wife,
The pains cutting through my heart,
Dad my whole world has fell apart,
You are now safe, well and pain free,
But I really do wish you was here drinking a brew with me,
I really miss our longs talks,
And our short little walks,
Everyday I miss your silly laugh,
Now I know your destined another path,
I miss our hugs and cuddles,
Dad all I do now is cry puddles,
I know this pain never stops,
You will always be my pops,
I love you Papa Bear,
Life is so cruel, rubbish and just isn't fair,
I now have to face life without you by my side,
The moment you left me a part of me also died,
Starting a life without you there,
Am unsure I can do this papa bear,
You've been in my life for 15,290 days,
You've no idea how much I wanted you to stay,
I am proud and always will be to be your daughter,
But right now dad am struggling and I feel like am drowning under water,
Your cheeky smile and your bright blue eyes,
You really were one of the good guys,
Your sense of humor and your kindness,
Am now down another minus,
Now you've travelled and gone above,
I still hold on to your love,
Why did you have to die?
Am sorry, call me selfish but am still not ready to say goodbye,
Till we end up meeting again,
Only then will this end my broken heart and mend my pain,
I know deep down I'll always be sad,
But no matter what I'll always love you dad,
I'll make you proud of me I'll do my best,
Sleep tight dad, my Angel and finally get some well-deserved rest,
I really do wish things were better,
Don't forget me dad I love you forever.
(In memory of my loving father who passed too soon in February this year, 2025)
By Kirsty Louise x
K