I was 12 when it happened.
when I watched you die.
cold.
empty.
numb.
it was the day my heart shattered.
speechless I couldn't utter a word.
paralyzed cuz I couldn't move.
tears all around me I left dying.
as I saw Grandma formerly my self chosen Mama's deteriorating decaying cold flesh.
she was gone.
and all I wanted to do was run.
my whole life ended that day.
my heart was never the same.
I wanted to run.
I needed to run.
yet I didn't cry.
I didn't get angry.
I didn't scream and fall to my knees.
I just felt nothing.
a void.
a blackened veil that wouldn't heal.
a gaping hollow hole that awaken my darkest demons and made them come out to play.
yet as she took her last breath parts of me died piece by piece chipping away as I stared at death for the first time.
no mom a selfish father yet the love of my grandmother no one could replace yet I froze cold at the thought of her not being here and it killed me it destroyed me.
yet in those cold moments set me to decay.
yet her last breath was where I became shadows in the night.
my first glimpse of death and I knew I would never be alright.
©darkdeity
D