My Own Beauty Standard
Every now and then, I look at myself
I tell myself, “You don't need that old standard”
Every now and then, I walk to myself
I tell myself, “That was too much for your face”
Every now and then, I grab myself
I tell myself, “This is not what you want to be!
This is what they want: to make you follow a certain standard
A certain standard to turn you into something you're not.”
Why did I need foundation and concealer on my face?
Why hide it when my face looks fine the way it is?
Why put on blush and shimmery, glitter highlighter?
Why put glitter and shimmer on my eyes and face and lips?
Why do I need color on my lips?
Why do I need a certain color when it gives my eyes hell?
Why do I need bronzer? Why heavy powder?
Why winged liners? Why even follow a certain look?
Why do I need a serious, romantic relationship?
Why do I need that?
I hate the way those things look on me, so get off me!
Every now and then, I was ashamed
Ashamed of giving in that pressure, now I know better
Every now and then, I think of all the times
I think of all the times I didn't feel good under pressure
Why need to be in a pageant or coronation?
Why go to prom, why do cheerleading when it's actually gross?
Every now and then, I realized I'll never fit in
Her full face of makeup and jewels, his fancy cars and money
Her little monster in pretty pink, his monster in blue
That will never ever, ever be me!
Foundation-free, concealer-free, contour, powder, clear brows
Clear cheeks, little bits of highlight, no shimmer, no glitter
Earthy, neutral, pastel tones on my lashlines, lip balm
Brown mascara, clear lashes, eyeliner on my waterline
A strobe of colors, writing, reading, singing, content creating
No talking to strangers, QPR, non-traditional friends, puppies
Boba, tea, coffee, water, pizza, salads, chicken, spaghetti
Rigatoni, ramen, and mac ‘n cheese, no marriage, no romance
No performing acts for people, no God for me
Confident in my skin, not a girl, neither a guy, no dysphoria
That's what I really, really wanna see!
And folks, if you know your standards, do better
I have my own standard, and you may have yours
But your standards will never, ever be me
This is who I am, nonbinary, agender, androgynous
Aroace, baby, I'm for the strobe of colors in the world
This is my rainbow in the sky you can't wash away
My scars are part of my life, both the darkness and light
R